Ernest Hemingway is considered one of the greatest writers of the twentieth century. He wrote in easy to understand prose that has entertained readers for decades. Hemingway had complicated life. He would marry 4 times, travel the world, participate in World War I, World War 2, be in two plane crashes, and become a heavy drinker that battled depression, among others. He would eventually commit suicide at 61 years old.
What led him to that fateful day when a gunshot wound to the head would end his life? He was considered the poster child of strength and masculinity during the first half of the century, who was in two of the largest land wars in history, hunted big game in Africa, and could romance beautiful women with ease.
Hemingway was born on July 21st, 1899 in Oak Park, Illinois to Clarence and Grace Hemingway. Clarence Hemingway, who was a doctor, who made a good living. He made stable income that was enough for the Hemingway clan to live comfortably in two houses, one in Illinois, and the other in Michigan.
When Ernest was in his teens, his father started showing signs of depression. He would leave the house for days at a time to nurse his depression, leaving Ernest shaken by his view that his father lacked masculinity to deal with his problems silently and still provide emotional and financial support to the family as was expected during that time period.
In 1917, Hemingway got a job as a journalist at the Kansas City Star where would would work for two years. During that time, he honed his skills as a writer and developed the short style prose that would become synonymous with his writing of fiction that would make him famous. Short style prose is considered more direct and the use of shorter sentences than, for example, a William Faulkner would use, who wrote lengthy sentences filled with symbolism.
Ernest would eventually leave home in his late teens to volunteer as an ambulance driver in World War I. He would get severely injured during the war and fell in love with his nurse who was treating him. She would reject his romantic overtures, which sent him into a depressive tailspin, which happened every time a woman rejected him. That would provide the basis of one of the most successful novels in American history, A Farewell to Arms.
He would return to America, marry his first wife, and move to Paris. He wanted to become a novelist and felt Paris was a great spot for the artsy scene of aspiring novelists. He would link up with famous writers of the time, F. Scott Fitzgerald of The Great Gatsby fame, Erza Pound, and Irish novelist James Joyce.
He would live in Paris for two years, then move to Toronto, Canada where he worked as a journalist for the Toronto Star. He got tired of journalism and decided to move back to Paris, where he would meet his second wife, while still married to his first. He would divorce her and marry Pauline “Fife” Pfeiffer.
Hemingway also had a temper, which only got worse the more he drank. He friendships began to dissolve due to Hemingway’s mercurial personality. His drinking would get worse overtime and it would last until his death in 1961.
In 1928, an event would be so shocking to Ernest that he would never get over it and blame his mother, and most women, for the rest of his life. His Father, Clarence committed suicide from a gunshot wound to the head. Ernest would receive the telegram about his father’s death while living in Key West, FL with his second wife.
Depression, anger, and sadness tend to get exacerbated by alcohol. Excessive drinking will make those symptoms worse, which is what happened to Hemingway. In order to understand him, we need to begin to peel away at the source of his anger.
The main source is his mother, who would dress Ernest up in dresses as a young toddler. She was also the one who began to run the day to day operations of the family as her husband was dealing with severe depression. He mother made him participate in activities that interested her, but they tended to be those that boys did not enjoy. He wanted to play sports, fish, and do masculine things.
It has been said that his strong desire to always been seen as strong and participating in masculine activities came from his rebellion against his mother. His father also began to show his depression publicly, which men rarely did during that period. That embarrassed the young Ernest.
Grace Hemingway was described as “overbearing” by Hemingway. His father was irritable, as most with depression are, and withdrawn. Ernest felt his mother’s overbearing personality let to his father’s death. He would reconcile with his mother in later year by taking care of her financially when she was older, but he never truly forgave her for what he saw as the cause of his father’s suicide.
It would lead to a fraught relationship with women, who he felt were like his mother, throughout his life.
In 1927, he wrote a short story called Hills like White Elephants, which is considered a classic piece of literature. He depicts a man waiting for a train and suggesting a woman he is sitting with get an abortion, albeit, the word “abortion” is never mentioned. He seems to take the woman’s point-of-view in that story. That was a year before his father committed suicide. There may have been a change in what he wrote about after his father’s death, where he wrote about romance, but rarely from a woman’s point-of-view.
In 1930, A Farewell to Arms would get published, which is one of the most famous novels in American history. It was also make Ernest Hemingway world famous.
In World War 2, he would become a war correspondent and travel to Europe for the War at 45 years old. He would travel with troops and sometimes go ahead of them to let them know of impending battle. He would become a hero of the war and get awarded the Bronze Star for Valor. The highest honor for a civilian.
He would return from the war older and weaker. He would have sore knees and back for the rest of his life and resumed heaving drinking again.
During this time, his depression was getting more severe. In 1940, he married, for a third time, to a woman that he had met while married to his second wife. They lived apart while Ernest was away as a war correspondent, but settled together after the war.
He was described as heavily critical and bullying to his wives. His third wife, Martha Gelhorn, who as a famous journalist in her own right, realized rather quickly that Hemingway was hard to live with. He tended to take out all his frustrations on the women he was with and used them as an outlet for his depression.
Untreated depression, can lead to abuse of people that are closest to the person that is depressed. In Hemingway’s case, it was the women he married. At that time, treatment of depression in men was almost unheard of. Men were never supposed to show weakness, which depression was considered.
Men were taught to bottle up emotions and never show a softer side. The culture of the time pushed that on men. If Ernest wanted help, he probably felt he could not ask due to the social stigma at the time.
Gelhorn grew tired of Hemingway’s emotional abuse, so she left Cuba where they were living vowing never to return.
Hemingway would marry his 4th, and final, wife in March of 1946. Her name was Mary Welsh. She had a completely different temperament than Gelhorn, who did not like living under Hemingway’s dominance. Welsh said that she expected to live under his dominant nature and fully accepted that. They would stay married until his suicide in 1961.
His 4th wife dealt with many of the same things his previous wives dealt with. He was drinking excessively, prone to mood swings, and would verbally attack his wife. There are rumors it was even physical attacks too.
Hemingway never sought help and was always trying to appear strong. He would travel to Africa to hunt big game, survive two plane crashes without complaining, and would used his guns for target practice.
On the morning of July 2nd, 1961, Hemingway would take his beloved shotgun and kill himself with it. There had been evidence of his depression for decades.
He had mood swings.
He drank excessively.
He was manic before hitting a period of depression: A lot of people show exuberant moods before slipping into depression.
He would show his depression to those closest to him and hide it in front of others: This is a typical trait, especially among men, who want to present a tough image, so pretend to be fine. This means their outlet will usually be romantic partners or close family. Unfortunately, those people bare the brunt of poor behavior due to untreated depression.
Men have three times the suicide rate of women. Women tend to have better social networks where it is socially accepted to be vulnerable and emotional when discussing issues. Men tend to be more judgmental with other men who appear weak such as talking about mental ailments, albeit that is changing. This means men are keeping emotions bottled up and not getting help they need.
It takes men to be more aware of those feelings and get professional help. Also, social networks of men need to encourage men to talk about their depression and seek help. Men tend to want help from other men when it comes to depression and suicidal thoughts. It starts by leading from the front, so we don’t have more deaths like Ernest Hemingway’s.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1557988311408410
https://stevenewmanwriter.medium.com/mary-welsh-hemingway-in-her-own-write-part-one-e1bd4ac30886
https://www.biography.com/news/ernest-hemingway-wives
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Hall_Hemingway
https://www.biography.com/news/ernest-hemingway-mental-illness-family
